Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
