I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
