Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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