He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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