I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
