come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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