She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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