Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
