I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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