I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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