the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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