Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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