Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
