Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
