I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she pinky promised me she was 18
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
