I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
