New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
