Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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