In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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