Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
mondays should just be called national damage control day
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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