I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
