Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
