They should really pass out barf bags in church
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Your penis caused this!
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