Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
