Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he was CRYING into my vagina
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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