Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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