I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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