My brain says no but my pants say off.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
