return my video game
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
