People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
