Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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