I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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