If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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