Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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