I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
