Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
