i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
