yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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