fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
