I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
