I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
