I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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