Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
