I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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