You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
