Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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