Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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