There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
