the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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