I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
